Long Story!

If you spend any time getting to know me, you will quickly learn that I love to shop! I like to shop online, in stores, window shop.....you get the picture.... there is only 1 exception and that is GROCERY shopping. I hate it!!!
Today, I saw a glimpse of what hell must be like....Grocery shopping at Wal-Mart at noon on the Saturday before Thanksgiving with 3 hungry and tired kids. HELL!! ON!!EARTH!!!
Let me describe our adventure:
We’re driving in the car. All 3 kids strapped into the back seat. The radio blaring to try to drown out the constant bickering coming from the backseat. But for the most part things are going ok. We’re approaching WalMart when all of a sudden I hear:
“(BIG GASP) PUPPIES!!!! Can we get one?”
“No”
“AWE, PLEASE” (in unison)
“NO”
I pull into the parking lot, trying to avoid the whining and begging coming from the backseat. When all of a sudden this blue haired bat in a Cadillac decides she is going to make a U turn right in front of the General Merchandise Entrance. Have you ever tried to turn one of those boats around?? There’s no such thing as a U-Turn in one of those things. I swear she must have done a 400 point turn. Because of the way she was doing this, no one could get by her. No one could get in or out of the store. You couldn’t back up because cars were trying to get into the parking lot, and the cars trying to leave the parking lot couldn’t exit the aisles to make room for others. So after what seemed like an eternity, this woman finally gets turned around. And I’ll be damned if she didn’t park her car right in front of the store entrance and GET OUT!....
I should have just cut my losses right then and gone home, but NOOOOO! I had to actually go inside! I mean after all I’d just spent 10 minutes waiting in line so that I could find a parking space.
So, I drag all 3 of my kids into the store, telling them if they’re good I will let them get a SMALL treat of some sort. (No, I am not above bribery!!!) I walk in, grab a cart, and make it about 20 ft. before the jacked up wheel starts to drive me crazy. I make Shelby take it back and get me a new one. This of course starts the bickering and arguing over who wants to do it and how it’s not fair that Shelby gets to do everything. I give them the “look of death” and they calm down. I reach into my purse to get my list.....forgot my dang list. (Apparently, I forgot to put my grocery list on my list of things to take to town with me lol) Oh well, I’ll just wing it!!!
Have you ever been to Wal-Mart on the Saturday before Thanksgiving? No?!?! Well let me tell you: that is not the time to just “wing it”. I typically organize my grocery list by aisles, starting in the front and working my way back. I bet I made a hundred trips up and down those aisles trying to get all the things that I could remember on my list. Every time we would turn down an aisle one of the kids would say, “We already went down this aisle.”
Finally, I decided that I had everything (or at least that I'd had enough) and found the shortest lane that I could find. Now I don’t know how your WalMart is, but ours has 50 checkout stands but they only have about 10 open at any given time. So I’m in the shortest lane possible. I dig out my cell phone and text Celeste, “I’m stuck in Wal-Mart hell.” Oh little did I know........
Ok, here’s another little tidbit about me. I am extremely anal about how I unload my cart. I have to organize everything. I know I’m not the only person that does this, but it drives Chris crazy. So. I have all of my groceries organized on the belt, when the cashier begins scanning items. As he starts scanning the groceries, he starts digging through my little groups and organizing them differently. For instance he was sorting through everything and scanning all of the fruit together, all the veggies together, all of the BOXED pasta products separately from the BOXED RICE products etc. As I watch him I start to think that there has got to be a hidden camera somewhere because this cannot be for real!! Then he holds something up:
“What is this?”
“Its zuccini.”
(pulling out the produce chart to get the barcode) “What would I find it under?”
“Z”
“It’s not on there.”
“Try squash.”
“Oh. Oh. Yep. There is it!”
Holds up yellow squash. “Yellow...Y”
“That’s probably under squash too.”
“Oh yeah it is. Look at that.”
At this point my attitude has completely changed and it’s taking everything I have not to laugh. Throughout the whole process, Preston had been trying to get the guy to scan his Hot Wheels and then give it back to him. The guy kept picking it up and tossing it farther back, and Preston would go get it and take it right back up there and try to get him to scan it. Finally the guy says, “I’m not ready for that yet.” Well...apparently the look on my face was to much for Shelby to handle because she completely lost it! I pulled her over to me so that she was standing under the purse shelf (yes I know it’s supposed to be for writing checks, but really?? Who writes checks anymore) and she buried her face into my stomach while she laughed hysterically. I kid you not, we were in the checkout line for 1/2 an hour. This guy was the nicest guy you could ever meet, but my heavens........
When we got home, we started telling Chris about our experience. Once again Shelby was in tears from laughing so hard. When we told him about the toy car Shelby said, “Dad you should have seen Mom’s face. She looked like ‘Seriously?’” and then started laughing again. HAHAHAHA